These three poems by Julia Ziegler are in response to Maggie Nelson’s Bluets; an exploration on the philosophies of life and love through the color blue…
by: Julia Ziegler
After Bluets # 1
When we love something, we don’t really love the essence of the thing itself. Do you know what I mean?
I love the sun not for the fiery ball of energy suspended light years away but for the way it sinks into my skin on a June day. I love how it pours in through the windows in my dining room and reflects fractals of light off the little silver disco ball hung over the dining room table at precisely the same time every morning. I love how it accompanies the lapping waves of the Pacific against stone & sand & silt. I love how it sounds like his fingers plucking the taut strings of my Gibson until folk becomes my favorite way to fall asleep.
Is it fair, then, to say I love the sun? Or really, have I fallen for the way the sun intercepts the insignificance of one little life and paints it gold?
After Bluets # 2
What do you mean I’ll never forget you?
Ask me & I’ll tell you I’ve already forgotten how
You shivered against the weight of Lost Lake & how
We cried until your tears became mine & how
Your dog licked the salt away from my cheeks until I could only laugh.
I assure you I do not remember
Sinking our toes into the sand dunes &
Teetering on the edge of the cliffs &
Collapsing into your arms in pursuit of shelter from the salt steeped wind until I convinced myself I would always love the smell of you.
I certainly have no recollection of
Your hot breathed whispers grazing my ears &
The tangle of our limbs beneath orange sheets & how
Pale pink & warm olive mix into a color I can only describe as first love.
Do you believe me?
Can I be more clear than to say that the memories are devoid of you;
Replaced by a thin mist of what once was instead
Of what could be.
After Bluets #3
The winding, self-convincing, logic of it all
In love with half of a thing
Skin colored lenses
Magic fingers
What does it mean to be forbidden to say I love you
Skyline sunsets through a screen
You can be the deep thick strings of it if I can be the thin tinny ones
Strummed separate
But together when words leap onto the page
What would it mean to hold you
Be the whole of you
Challenge my soul with you
If only to say,
Now I know how to love the essence of a thing.
Julia Ziegler is a current student in the MFA Creative Writing Program at The New School. She has been previously published in Apple in the Dark, her website www.juliaziegler0307.wordpress.com, and her instagram page @tunneldrives. When Julia isn’t writing, she’s exploring the great outdoors or making coffee behind the espresso bar in Brooklyn, NY.
