The Quiz

by: Jessica Wadleigh

The wonderment of sexual frustration, and the fascinating ways in which it can manifest itself…


Mark had spent his skip day doing what he always did. Curled up under a blanket on the couch, he sat in front of his television. Then he masturbated. He picked up the controller on the table and started playing games. Then he masturbated. Then it was back to television and then back to masturbating. Then more games, more masturbating.

He could pull out at least five before his mom got home, and after a few hours of rest he knew he could get off another two or three after everyone went to bed. Mark made sure that every other time he masturbated he jerked off to normal stuff like lesbians, allowing himself to look at the shemale porn only some of the time. If he was going to be weird, it would only be sometimes.

Now he was sitting in Ms. Power’s office while the rest of the class worked. He had missed a quiz on his off-day and had been sent there to finish it at her spartan desk covered only with the quiz, a phone and a tube of lipstick she’d left out.

Question 1: A carbohydrate is also known as a saccharide, a group that includes _________, ________, and ________?.

Mark hadn’t the slightest idea. He hardly ever did homework for any class, but he took health class the least seriously of all.

The amount of energy it takes to heat one gram of water one degree celsius is known as a ________. He knew the answer to this question at least, and wrote in ‘calories’ on the blank line.

Mark’s mind wandered back to the lipstick. He had been in the office for for only five minutes now and no one had come in to check on him. He rolled it nonchalantly with his fingers, as if it was absent-minded fidgeting, and moved on to the next question. Which molecule has the highest energy density: fats, proteins, or carbohydrates? Mark knew this one too. Ms. Powers had made a big deal about how it was fats, and how fats were important sources of energy for humans, even though everything was fat-free these days. He put a big oval around fats.

Mark had finished another question and his attention shifted back to the lipstick. He looked out the door to his right. No one was around. He picked up the lipstick tube and pulled the ends apart, revealing a rounded tip of purple-brown. With a twist, it pushed upward through the tube in almost perfect synchronicity with the growing erection in his nylon running pants. He twisted the tube of color back down and made sure to put it back in exactly the same place.

Food energy is derived through the process of ________. Mark was pretty sure the answer was respiration.

The clock ticked. Ten minutes had passed. How long did he have to take this quiz, anyway? Ms. Powers never gave him a time limit, and he didn’t think she was going to stop class to come out and get him. Mark’s fingers were back on the lipstick. He glanced at the door. A group of boys he didn’t like much walked past pantomiming riding dirt bikes, but they hadn’t noticed him in there, and he could hear their laughter diminishing as they walked away. He twisted the tube back up and smeared a bit of it onto his finger.

Mark’s erection was throbbing now. All he wanted to do  was crank off like there was no tomorrow. He took another glance at the hallway as he pulled the rolly chair under the desk as far as possible. He pulled down the zipper of his nylon pants and fished out his dick, smearing the lipstick from his finger across it.

The thrill had already started a steady trickle of precum. He pushed himself back from the desk and looked down at the zigzagging line of lipstick across the top of his shaft. Before he had a second to think about it, he started masturbating, alternating his gaze between the lipstick pattern on his cock and the nearby hallway.

It didn’t take long and soon Mark had a palm full of his sticky cum. He was now acutely aware of his surroundings and the situation he had gotten himself into. Mark carefully reached for tissues on an adjacent desk and made sure to push the cum-filled rags deep into the bottom of the garbage can beside the desk.

He grabbed another handful of tissues and wiped his dick, making sure to remove all of the lipstick and cum from it before putting it back in his pants. Even the smallest drop of cum would be visible and obvious through the thin nylon, though his still swollen penis would probably be the clearer giveaway. He buried those, too.

Satisfied, Mark went back to the test.

Proteins are composed of chains of ________.

Mark had no idea, but his sudden concern that he might fail this quiz was now the perfect antidote to his nylon tent.


Jessica Wadleigh is a 30-something transwoman who escaped from rural New York and writes from her refuge in the Pacific Northwest. She views her stories as snapshots, often opening with characters that are already in motion and closing without clean resolution in an effort to capture the feeling of a moment. Her writing explores the sexual confusion and compulsion of being closeted and how that confusion can manifest inappropriately. Find more of her writing at or follow her on Facebook at

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