by: Heather Fawn
Coming to terms with goodbyes, in a world that often rips and tears relentlessly…..
You know I am broken,
Like he said
But I can be broken without breaking,
I can give without taking,
I can handle the expectation
That I should live with magnanimity.
We are fragile creatures,
Humans,
We fall when pushed,
Like china – we break when we hit the ground
It’s not our fault,
Though we could be a little kinder.
It doesn’t matter what game we’re playing
If we remember how it feels to fall
I am fascinated by people
Who believe that they
Think,
Feel,
See,
Taste
Things so much more intensely
Then disregard,
Then dismember.
I think you mistake the revelation
Of vulnerability
As a reason to fold, and
I can’t hate you,
I can’t blame you,
If that’s your sickness.
I think I almost pity you –
Your demons are so persistent
That you never have a chance to breathe
Maybe what I had to offer wasn’t right,
But maybe the problem is
You have no earthly idea who I am,
Warmed in the interim by the heat I give off.
I cannot beat a ghost
I cannot fight something that isn’t there,
Isn’t real
But I swear that I saw you,
When you forgot to pretend –
You really are something.
Yet your sin,
Your self-loathing
Covers you completely
I will never be able to get a good look at you –
What a miserable shame.
For if you could be,
If you could be,
If you could be
The angel that you are,
Then I might believe in a just world,
A world that doesn’t rip and tear so relentlessly.
I feel that I am the one, dear,
Who should apologize –
Your self-denial,
Your self-loathing must be so profound
For things to have become
What they are now.
The problem with goodbyes
Is that they always sound the same
When my screams become whispers,
Then my whispers become thoughts
Never worth mentioning
To yet another disappearing silhouette.
