Dick Week

Across the Margin invites you to revisit the now infamous moment in time we lovingly christened Dick Week…

It’s Dick Week here at Across the Margin, and we couldn’t be more excited! Come along with us as we present to you a series of true stories that examine humankind’s relationship with the ole twig and berries. It’s like Shark Week, but with dicks! And it all begins with an embarrassing tale about one man’s…well, you know…


“The Waddle” by Tom Rau

“I need to tell you a story about my penis…”

Excerpt: “Once in the patient room Red Cube asked me a series of general health questions: When was I last at the Doctor? Am I on anything? How often do I exercise? Do I use drugs recreationally? Do I smoke? How often do I drink alcohol? Am I allergic to anything? This sick and twisted foreplay was lasting way too long. Certainly we were close to the inevitable question: ‘Do you have a finger-sized open wound on your cock?'”


“He Went On Two?” by Michael Shields

A transcript of an interview with a man who as a boy, had his dick trapped in a zipper…..

Excerpt: “This is where things get kind of weird, and no one really believes me when I say this, but it hardly hurt at all. Sure, I was freaking out, but that was more because that’s what you do when your dick has been seized by little metal teeth. But the pain wasn’t really that bad, until extraction of course.”


In Scrotum We Trust” by Shiloh Whatley

Pride and fame. Success and riches. All these bow down before the great equalizer that is a shot to the nuts…


Excerpt: “I had been noticing an itchy sensation around my scrotum all night and I kept slipping my hand down to the fabric of my jeans to rub the irritated area on the sly. It was beginning to get pretty annoying and I figured I’d go check the situation out in the privacy of the bathroom. I had to piss anyway, and the girl I’d been making eyes at all evening had been eating my story up like it was Thanksgiving dinner so I figured I’d take a break while I was still ahead in the count. I thought I’d check out my nuts, grab a pint of the next Samuel Smith on the list, and then finish telling the rest of my story and making that doe-eyed girl laugh. That was my plan at least. But the rest of the evening didn’t end up unfolding that way. No, it went much differently. And then things went bad quickly. Very, very quickly.”


“What’s Wrong With It” by Sophia Owl

Dick Week shifts gears, pausing just long enough to discuss society’s stigmas regarding fellatio….


Excerpt: “All that being said, under circumstances that are good for both partners, and, when not used as an insult, why do I so often get the feeling that being open about being an enthusiastic performer of oral sex is still a bad thing? To me, it appears that the Madonna-Whore complex is still alive and well in our society.”


Training Wheels by L.P. Hanners

 In defense of my penis…


Excerpt: “For me, puberty began with mounting insecurity revolving around the head of my penis. I remember taking a shower in a locker room with my schoolmates when I was thirteen, and being shocked that my dick looked different. I kept expecting to run into another classmate with a penis like mine but it never happened. I decided I couldn’t bare to let my guy out in public again. I couldn’t bare letting anyone see it. I couldn’t bare being the kid with the weird penis.”